Masih

Okay lah, macam ni ceritanya.

Pernah satu masa dulu, masa nak buka kipas di surau IPG KBA, saya cuba lah tuah; kata orang muda: cuba nasib. Banyak suis di situ, lebih dari 8 kalau tak silap. Jadi, kebarangkalian untuk saya dapat tekan suis kipas yang betul hanya 1 per 8+ ja lah. *Heh, kalau optimis, boleh nampak potensi besar tu =,=

Mula-mula saya cuba tekan yang tengah. ‘Plak'. Tak Hidup.

Cuba yang tepi pula. Tak juga.

Kemudian, saya cuba hat hujung. Masih tak hidup.

Saya pun mula nak kutuk-kutuk suis tu. Biasanya di bilik boleh ja main teka-teka suis ni; bahkan selalu rasa ada bakat overdose dalam bab meneka. HAHA.

Dah hampir selesai mencuba, baru saya perasan, yang paling dekat dengan saya waktu itu masih belum saya cuba. Dan ada lagi satu suis jugak. Kiranya waktu itu 50-50 lah.

Dengan lafaz bismillah, kemudian saya tekan yang paling dekat.

"Yeay!! Alhamdulillah.."

HAHA. Boleh tahan thrill jugak buat benda macam kanak-kanak.

Tak lama lepas tu barulah saya terfikir macam dewasa sikit.

“Aiyak, kenapalah aku tak terus pilih yang paling dekat dengan aku tadi..”

Itulah.

Saya ni rupanya suka sangat fikir benda yang belum pasti. Padahal benda yang depan mata dah jadi macam apa, buat tak tahu jaa. *tepuk dahi*

Ok, berakhir kisah menjadi dewasa!

Kesimpulannya, 

Bila saya katakan mahu menjadi yang matang, saya fikir banyak. Saya ini, betul ke dah matang? Dan saya pun angguk banyak kali.

Stop. Kemudian geleng lebih lama.

Susah koottt. Huhu. Tapi takpa, saya cuba.

Haihhh~ Lepas tu ada pulak hati nak kahwin. Dush dush! *~*

p/s: Minta maaf atas ke-tidak-formal-an bahasa untuk entri kali ni. Nanti saya denda diri sendiri k? #Ehh

Terus

"Lebih indah dari itu.."

"Suatu hari nanti..." Nafasnya ditarik perlahan. “Kau, pasti akan dapat melihat cahaya yang lebih indah dari yang kau lihat pada hari ini."

An-nisa’ berkira-kira untuk menyambung. Saya tenang menanti penghujung bicaranya.

"..Bahkan lebih daripada yang pernah kau bayangkan." Kali ini dengan lebih yakin dia menyambung, "Nanti.. Suatu saat nanti, kau akan dapat melihat betapa indah kehidupan di sana. Kau akan memiliki kesempatan itu. Yakinlah, teman."

Kami terus berjalan. Hanya bunyi detakan tapak kaki yang kedengaran.

Kerlip kunang-kunang semakin banyak di hadapan kami kini. Serentak kami terhenti.

"Lebih indah dari ini, Eika. Lebih indah." Ujarnya dengan senyuman. Manis.

Saya, dengan sepasang mata yang sedari tadi melihat, sepasang telinga yang sedari tadi hanya mendengar, mula berbicara. "Bisakah aku?"

"Ya!" An-nisa’ senyum bukan main, "Asalkan kau terus berjalan dan jangan pernah berhenti."

Tale #5

"We are what we think."

"I’m scared".

"It’s your negative thinking. If not, you won’t be here. Remember all those words, right?"

"Yes."

"So?"

I was silent. Was just pondering and became afraid of things that aren’t worth to, that's it.

"Do you remember your dreams?"

"Yes."

"You're now approaching them."

"Yes. Like a dream."

"Wait. Only I am in your dream, but your dream is in reality."

...

"And above you, thought, effort, hope and Allah that will decide"

Silent again. 

Honestly, this is so uncomfortable. Or is it me who love this melancholic thingy and tiring myself with? What a typical me.

...

"Allah will provide according to our supposition."

My eyes shut and in my mind, all that being missed fill the memory space. 

Now and forever, what makes me strong is to see my beloved(s) happy and not worry of anything, later on.

So that’s the magical ‘wave’ of feelings.

"And I suppose, I will have an extraordinary happy life, with people that I have full of love for!"

We both smiled. 

I continued, "Allow me this time to include myself in the list of 'to be beatified', and you too, that I always long for"

"You're going to get it, with His permission!"

Thing to Begin with

"You are just like a stone. No expression – just like stones. No difference at all"

The stone.
Which one was it being referred to? 

The one that can either push people towards the Heaven, or become one of the fuel in Hell. 
Or.. is it like the static one in the cave, that is going nowhere? 

Then 'When you're lost and alone, you'll be sinking like a stone' runs through my head. 

Urgh, I don't wanna lose. And I am not alone. (Never am I, right?)

Then I start walking again, with My Dear now, by my side.
And a smile on my face.

For it is the exact thing to begin with.

Tale #4

“I.. I don't think I work too hard,” said me to the person, as she had always been a good listener.

“Why do you think so?”

“Because I’m not always have wrinkly forehead? And I can even make…”

“Make people laugh? I don’t think you’re like that now.” She interrupted.

“How am I like then?”

‘You are just like a stone. No expression – just like stones. No difference at all’ was the opinion from that well-meaning friend of mine, who can deeply understand and see ‘many things’ even from a brief sharing moment of my life.

"So.. I should express myself, and make a difference?"

“Why shouldn't you? When you're lost and alone, you'll be sinking like a stone."

In the next second I kind of  felt the absolute meaning and truth behind those words she uttered. As seen like someone being 'trapped' in subconscious mind, I slowly nodded after that.

"Well, this is my trying time indeed, but it is never difficult, or burdensome..” I replied.

My friend smiled.

Seriously, even I had no idea of where did those words come from.