Happier VS Smarter

“Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy?” - MSZ, 2015

This question will open rooms for personal views and opinions from anyone because people experiences things on their own as well as face the reality differently.

Their answers to this question might subject to their own way of thinking. E.g. If one is happy and pretty content with what they currently have, he might choose to be smarter – for an instance, to help spread happiness to the world. If a genius, on the other hand, does not feel happy that way, he would probably rather be twice as happy.

Even though, we cannot assume that if someone get smarter they are less happy. So if he chooses to be happier, he’ll be dumber. That is not even a correct equation to compare with.

I have lived my life for 21 years now and grown up with a lot of experiences – be it remarkable or not. Each of them beautifies my life with the happiness it has brought. Some experiences are derived from the dreams I have been keeping in mind since I was very young while some of them are obtained through the impromptu reaction of thoughts.

As I am getting older, I realize that sometimes some dreams just did not mean to work. That was the time when I found that life does not provide us all time happiness and pleasure. Sometimes we do face difficulties and feel tired in such a long journey; that we might start to give up and feel upset. It is normal and there is nothing wrong with it. It is the nature of a real life.

This question is quite confusing because generally, there is a need for us to have both qualities in life. Is there a reason why we cannot choose both, anyway? But if I were to choose, I would probably go for twice as smart.

Happiness is an abstract feeling that is crucial in this life. It can be earned through various ways – and before anything else, there comes our smart brain. My idea of smart here does not merely indicate the means of intelligence in academic field but other aspects as well - because being smart and having more knowledge are completely two different things.

Smart in finding ways to pursue what can satisfy people and our own needs.

Smart in solving problems.

Smart in handling emotions.

Smart in planning things for now and future.

Smart in achieving our goals.

With these doubled intelligence, we can do many great things. What else do we need to make us as happy as having such a manageable life?

For me, choosing to be twice as happy would mean we are worse than we are now, as if we are saying ‘we are pretty sure our general happiness is a negative number’. Are we really that bad? I do not buy that. Therefore in order to be happier, we just need to be smarter to see the silver lining behind every cloud.  

  

Because the reality is, happiness in life is like the seasons in a year. When it is the middle of winter, the grass is very brown. It looks as if it is totally dead. (As Malaysian, I bet we can still imagine how dead the grass is and how bad the grass will look like.) It does not look very good at that moment but the truth is, the grass is not dead, it is just not in season. In the springtime, the same grass will be just as lush and green as it can be. Then, for sure, just a few months later, that same brown and dry grass will ‘present’ itself as a gorgeous bright green, filled with life and vitality. 

This life works exactly the same way. Sometimes, our circumstances just look dead. But we have to realize, it can be that it is not in season. It may be that it will come back around in a new season.

The point here is we cannot give up life just because happiness does not ‘comfort’ us the way we want them to in the season we are in. We have to dig our heels in and look with our eyes of faith to the new season that is on the horizon.

Then, what we got here? 

When we go through disappointments or setbacks, choose to have this doubled smart attitude;

"Even though it doesn't look good, I know the truth. It's not really dead; it's just not in season. I'm in springtime, but I know summertime is coming. So I'm going to lift up my head and get ready for the new things Allah is about to do"

..to have ourselves kept reminded instead of getting down and discouraged or giving up – and then wish for twice-a-happier-kind-of-life (?).

If people keep this attitude of being smart in all aspects, we will receive strength to make it through to the next season and it will not be long until the real happiness and gratification flourish in every area of our life!

To end this sharing of thoughts, I think I should leave us a few clarification questions - to provide our mind an appropriate judgement before make a choice between being SMARTER VS HAPPIER.

How can we know that our own happiness does not neglect the rights of other people to be happy as well? *At least if we are smart, there are contributions we can make such as help solving some of global problems (yeah, it’s possible!) and make more people happy.

What’s left when we double the happiness and reach the level we targeted?

Do we stay stagnant for the rest of our lives? If not, what then?

All that is hidden in the heavens and the earth lies within the power of Allah. To Him are all matters referred for judgment. So do serve Him, and place in Him all your trust. Your Lord is not heedless of what you do (11:123)

Dear Putri

Dear Putri,

You are only human.

You are not perfect, we're never perfect.

And really if you were, how absolutely dreadful that would be.

Dear Putri,

Do remember that you are not defined by your imperfections,

You are not ruled nor controlled, merely challenged.

Just think you now have a chance to be better than you were,

You now have a chance to understand more;-

About yourself, people around you, and the world as a whole.

So in essence what separates the wise,

From those who pretty much take themselves too seriously,

Is your reaction to yourself.

Lighten up.

You're not all that bad.

You're actually really amazing.

So when you look in the mirror,

And notice all the blemishes,

Smile and say,“This too shall pass”.

After all,

we are only human.

MSZ

July, 25th 2014

8.31pm

In response to Putri's grieve and disappointment

p/s: If you're reading this, right now, Putri misses you.

Tale #7

“Among everything in this world, what is it that you are afraid of?”

“God,” I said.

“Sure. Beside that?”

“Loss,”

She went silent. Expected to hear more, I guessed.

“You may ask any other persons the exact same question and probably hear the same answer – LOSS. No matter how big or small the loss is to you.” I paused as she looked at me, interesting.

I continued, “Hmm. Losing something or someone, you may say, is almost terrifying because you are far from the readiness for whatever you are meant to face. And there’s nothing you can do if that phase is ever written to happen in any time from your life as how it is approved by Him The Almighty.”

I stopped.

“So..” she was thinking before replied, “what you’re really scared of is actually your ability to accept the fact that you’re gonna experience the losing of some-whatever-it-might-be.. Isn’t it?”

I just nodded, in agreement or what – I was not very sure. But that was worth pondering for, I thought.

“Perhaps. Loss would surely happen, but are we really able to control ourselves? – That’s such a question I would frequently ask to myself.”

“Indeed. So.. What are you really afraid of, again?”

I said, “Me. Myself.”

“Hmm..?”

“Sometimes we think that most people are just like us – too afraid of what future will bring. We forgot, sometimes it’s ourselves, who lost in our own heart.”

The Note

"Would you?"

It was our first time, you see

Never thought, you appeared out of the blue

I think you were excited to see me

Guess what? I was enchanted to meet you too

And surprisingly 

There’ll really be a life I see

Some time, later

You and me together

But behind that pretty little nod that you’d love, ever

A problem I'm not sure if you can bare it too

Don't say i don't warn you, mister

You have to know where you're heading to 

I can be so clumsy, i might be lame 

I can never play your psychology games 

I might be a mess, oh man, can you get through? 

I might be a freak and I can be a pain 

I might be The Sun while you pray for the rain 

I will be fighting over a small issue

But when I love, I love with all my heart 

It's been like that from the very start 

Dear man, with all the things that I say 

I hope you enjoy to stay 

Putting on my dress for a day to remember 

Take me in on tables, for the family too 

You said you like our presence at that hour

Ooh, I know I’m choosing you

Oh please know who I am and who I'm not 

Even though I'd seemed to like you a lot 

All the moment that we had

All the love that we shared

Life with that kind of memory

Don’t drift away so suddenly

Or  I’ll damn be freaking out

It's like you're the one I can't live without

Tale #6

"Do not worry about the future. Live this day completely!", Said a friend today.

At the end of the chat, tears are welling up.. Then gracefully flowing down like Kuala Lumpur breeze in a sunny day. I don’t know, somehow my soul is rather quick at being offended for uncertain things.

"That's right"

I think the waves in my soul are restless, are not known.

"Seek the God"

I feel like sobbing, crying remembered another friend said.

She then claimed that ‘God does not exist ‘above’..’

"Thus, where is God?"

With a smile, she replied, "In the heart."

"Far is it, the journey..?"

"How far, though nearer.."

Tale #5

"We are what we think."

"I’m scared".

"It’s your negative thinking. If not, you won’t be here. Remember all those words, right?"

"Yes."

"So?"

I was silent. Was just pondering and became afraid of things that aren’t worth to, that's it.

"Do you remember your dreams?"

"Yes."

"You're now approaching them."

"Yes. Like a dream."

"Wait. Only I am in your dream, but your dream is in reality."

...

"And above you, thought, effort, hope and Allah that will decide"

Silent again. 

Honestly, this is so uncomfortable. Or is it me who love this melancholic thingy and tiring myself with? What a typical me.

...

"Allah will provide according to our supposition."

My eyes shut and in my mind, all that being missed fill the memory space. 

Now and forever, what makes me strong is to see my beloved(s) happy and not worry of anything, later on.

So that’s the magical ‘wave’ of feelings.

"And I suppose, I will have an extraordinary happy life, with people that I have full of love for!"

We both smiled. 

I continued, "Allow me this time to include myself in the list of 'to be beatified', and you too, that I always long for"

"You're going to get it, with His permission!"

Thing to Begin with

"You are just like a stone. No expression – just like stones. No difference at all"

The stone.
Which one was it being referred to? 

The one that can either push people towards the Heaven, or become one of the fuel in Hell. 
Or.. is it like the static one in the cave, that is going nowhere? 

Then 'When you're lost and alone, you'll be sinking like a stone' runs through my head. 

Urgh, I don't wanna lose. And I am not alone. (Never am I, right?)

Then I start walking again, with My Dear now, by my side.
And a smile on my face.

For it is the exact thing to begin with.

Tale #4

“I.. I don't think I work too hard,” said me to the person, as she had always been a good listener.

“Why do you think so?”

“Because I’m not always have wrinkly forehead? And I can even make…”

“Make people laugh? I don’t think you’re like that now.” She interrupted.

“How am I like then?”

‘You are just like a stone. No expression – just like stones. No difference at all’ was the opinion from that well-meaning friend of mine, who can deeply understand and see ‘many things’ even from a brief sharing moment of my life.

"So.. I should express myself, and make a difference?"

“Why shouldn't you? When you're lost and alone, you'll be sinking like a stone."

In the next second I kind of  felt the absolute meaning and truth behind those words she uttered. As seen like someone being 'trapped' in subconscious mind, I slowly nodded after that.

"Well, this is my trying time indeed, but it is never difficult, or burdensome..” I replied.

My friend smiled.

Seriously, even I had no idea of where did those words come from. 

Tale #3

It was a light bright evening.

There were only me, you and the sea, which was slowly receding in front of us.  

Never did I sure either me or the sea your gaze fell on, or even at where your glance cast.

You chose to break the mild splashing of the waves that had been conquering our attention with such a question, which I could sense disappointment in,

“The world today is getting worse.”

I did not prefer to ask ‘What do you mean?’ but in impetuous urge to talk,

I instead say,

“World had never been better.

Then because of that, 'HOPE' is something strange and magical.

It’s.. Special, in other words.

You once had, right, that Hope?”

After that each of us went speechless.

I was sure, at that moment, we both were only looking at the sea.

And slowly drowned in silence.

Tale #2

"Take a deep breath. No rush. You need to have plans, Eika."

"Alright. But should I keep the blazing spirit?" 

"BIG NO."

"Why?"

"You have too much. Give me some."

"Hahaha."

Silence.

Argh. I miss you. I'm sure I really do.

Tale #1

I kept questioning why are there so many love stories/ movies etc that may corrupt teenagers' mind or even affect the society.

Till one day my ustaz calmly said, 

"Bernafas saja tak cukup untuk hidup. Hidup perlu cinta." 

Out of nowhere, someone who coincidentally passed by stopped and said, 

"Dan dalam cinta, masa bukan batasan." 

Ustaz smiled and I replied, bitterly. 

They then walked away. 

Stiff. I slowly place my hand on the chest. 

Urgh. My heart beat fast. 

Again.

Beetles and Roses: The Gist.

According to Brother Aiman Azlan in Beetles and Roses forum that day, in Al Quran, marriage is implicitly portrayed as a ‘sign’ where it will point us to HIM.

Ar-rum; 21. What did ALLAH say?

And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts: Verily in that are signs for those who reflect. 

(Quran 30:21)

Ohh indeed, 

Men and Women are created for each other for the sake of love. 

Because of LOVE.

 *Refer to ‘Talking About Love’.

So, there were five highlights about this so-called-related-issue-to-the-topic-of-love during the forum. I’ll just summarize them all. These are the gist I could come out with;- 

1-         How to manage a friendship between male and female?

There were two guidelines given. First, always check the intention and second, always listen to your heart. Be careful on how mind justifies things. Iman in heart will somehow tell you.

2-         What to do if we cautiously fall in love?

‘Our relationship with ALLAH is actually a LOVE STORY.’ (Tariq Ramadhan, 2012)  So how do we do with the fact? Follow what have been taught by Him in surah An-Nur, which are to LOWER our GAZE, ‘generate’ modesty, and wear HIJAB properly! <3 nbsp="nbsp" o:p="o:p">

Faith will start from love. And what kind of love is that? Love for truth.. :)

3-         Is dating HALAL?

Yes, it absolutely IS! ONLY IF you have married. If you do not, what’s the use anyway? You must first remember, “to have a TRUE love, you must attach it with something that doesn’t have up and down – ALLAH!”

So, if you can’t barely stand to fall apart from each other; want to call every single hour, want to meet anytime available, and so on, it is an ADDICTION, not a love! 

4-         The best: Love BEFORE marriage or love AFTER marriage?

The thing is, you must first understand your own LOVE to know what love really is. Ponder on this line: ‘Who loves you will never touch you before marriage’. This is due to the fact that he/she loves you very much that he won’t destroy your dignity.

This means that love, desire and passion are NOT a guarantee for a successful marriage. So here is an advice; find a compatible partner – in the way of thinking.

5-         Marriage at young age. What would you say about that?

It is not about AGE, but MATURITY- financially, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Islam is not merely about avoiding haram and making things halal.

So, you need to think BEYOND FIQH. Look beyond yourself. Marriage is an investment for us to go for JANNAH.

6-         How to be an ideal muslim/ muslimah to our future spouse?

There are useful tips (insya Allah); you must know how to regulate your emotion because success in love depends on how you can regulate your feelings. How you love contributes to what you are going to get LOVE you need.

Love and respect yourself first. How? First, by SOLAH. Second, by obeying Allah’s rules. Fix and ask our heart. Insya Allah, with such purification, we’ll get the answer. Get rid of attachment.

[Read more on Finding Our Perfect Match @iluvislam.com and watch more on MSA YouTube Channel]

Enough with such lame introduction. Ahha. Sorry. 

“Apparently, love may be blind but marriage is the real eye-opener. Getting married: It’s a different game. There should be different rules, different expectations and different way of looking at it, for the couple.”

*Yeah, that’s what I was thinking about, and will develop later. If Allah wills. 

TO BE CONTINUED....

p/s: Eid Mubarak, everyone! Taqabbalallahu minna waminkum ;)